'One day, I had enough of it...[I] typed four simple words': 20+ Petty people share their funniest moments of payback

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    I just hit the passive- aggressive zenith- played a Youtube video of someone eating crisps loudly while someone else ate crisps loudly because I can't be bothered to ask them to stop. What depths have you sunk to?
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    Basically, this guy is one of those people who manages to do everything that is annoying - whether it's banging desks, talking loudly on the phone, laughing loudly, munching crisps with his mouth open etc. all distracting in our very small office. I'm not saying I'm not a , but I'm tired of picking the guy up on things he should be able to work out for himself.
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    Has anyone else surprised themselves with their own petty behaviour?
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    faunablues I was on the receiving end of some epic passive aggression once. I was in the "12 items or less" line at the grocery store, and as usual, had counted my items before I got in the line. An older couple got in line behind me, and clearly did not think I had done so. They spoke loudly to each other, I guess
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    hoping to embarrass me - "THAT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE TWELVE ITEMS TO YOU, DOES IT, MARGE?" etc. this continued on, and when it was my turn, one started "LET'S COUNT. ONE... TWO... THREE..." I started wondering if maybe I miscounted, feeling a little panicky as I usually try not to be a II Then • finally, TEN. Oh." ● ● ●
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    The cashier laughed. I needed to do nothing; the backfiring of their plan was plenty.
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    CyrusKain The neighbor in my girlfriend's apartment will let their alarm go off for a good 5 minutes before they even try to stop it. They don't hit snooze like a normal person. They just lay there and let it buzz over and over and over again. It was going on longer than usual so I ended up pulling out my phone and turning on
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    the "meltdown" alarm and basically pressing it directly into the wall. On top of the horrendously loud noise, it was also buzzing the whole wall. They turned their alarm off within 10 seconds and haven't done it since.
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    onewatt I used to be a resident advisor in a college dorm. One of the dorm activities was on personal hygiene, with free stuff available like deodorant, shampoo, razors, etc.
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    One of my residents couldn't be bothered to speak with his roommate about his disgusting habits, but he sure took about a dozen of those fliers and put them up all over his roommates side of the room.
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    gulsado My old room-mate's friend used to always come over and drink my cans of pepsi. I'm on a pretty tight budget, but liked to treat myself with said cans, so you can imagine how upset this made me. One day I hid all the cans but one, which i coated with nail biter. The
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    second he realized something was wrong, he poured himself a glass of water using the only glass. on the drying rack... the glass coated in nail biter.
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    connecteduser I live on a typicial American suburb street. My neighbor just got a new job with a company provided vehicle. He has a one lane driveway so he parks this huge work van in the road, directly in front of my house. It is all I can see when look out the front window. I casualley mention it to him how he could park in front of his house and not mine. He just
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    chuckles to himself and starts talking about something else. For the next week I parked my car in front of his house to see if he enjoyed looking at my car everyday. Luckily he got the message and now parks in front of his home and not mine.
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    chrisxdork I was at costco once, and they had massage chairs at the end of the aisle, right by the crutches and folding wheelchairs etc. Two older women were complaining about me using it, making remarks about how I was abusing the equipment or some I so I 'struggled' to get off the chair, gave a look of pain, and wheeled off in
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    one of the wheelchairs. I kept one of my hands shaking and went right past them. Their faces were one of the best things ever. TLDR: Used muscular dystrophy to someone with
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    H... On an airplane flight this past summer, the guy in front of me reclined his seat until he was practically resting his head on my chest. I politely asked him if he would please put his seat up. He just looked at me and said, "No." I then turned my air vent on full blast and aimed it right at his face. When he
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    reached up to adjust it, | pushed his hand away, "Excuse me. That's my air vent. I like it that way." He ended up leaning forward the entire flight, but left his seat back reclined practically to my chest. We were both uncomfortable the entire flight, but neither of us would give in. As my wife put it, "So, this is what happens when an inconsiderate meets
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    a passive-aggressive EDIT: Several people have called " II || on my claim that the seat tilted back all the way to my chest. I'm 5'10" and my legs aren't so long that my knees will touch the seat in front of me. For that reason, I don't normally have a problem with the people in front of me leaning back (I don't really enjoy it, but it's not a
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    big deal). I don't know if this guy's seat was broken, or it was some sort of sleeper- sofa unit that belonged on a long-haul flight, or what. but I ended up looking down on that guy's face like I was his dentist. It sucked.
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    MrBeardedLady There's these two girls who sit behind me in one of my classes that don't shut up. No matter what my professor says, they always have to talk about it between the two of them. After doing this, it always leads into a longer discussion between them. It's - annoying because I'm actually interested in what my
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    professor has to say. (he tells some pretty interesting stories) One day, I had enough of it. When they started talking again, I took my laptop out and made a new Word document. I made the font large enough to where they would be able to read it, and typed four simple words:
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    SHUT THE I cleared my throat (very loudly, I should add) and just slightly moved out of the way to where they would be able to read it. That was two weeks ago and they haven't said a word in class since.
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    [deleted] Whenever some is tailgating me on the road i hit the windshield cleaner button and just hold it. Usually i can get a good consistent spray of water to obstruct their view. They usually change lanes after that. Bonus points for me if their windshield is dirty and their wipers are bad leaving behind a dirty muddy mess.
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    Also if you are all-in on this idea, you can take a pin and adjust the angle of one of your nozzles to spray directly over your car for maximum effectiveness.
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    aymalah I put 3 staples in my stapler at a time so people will stop using the one on my desk. There is an empty desk right next to me with a fully loaded stapler no one ever uses. I realize this is ridiculous.
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    [deleted] I was in Walmart once and this kid was screaming. I tried to ignore it. I thought about asking the parent to quiet the kid down (you could hear him through the whole store). Finally I just stood at the end of the aisle they were on and started
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    screaming back at him. The mother was horrified, but after about ten seconds of yelling back and forth the kid finally stopped.
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    Toribor When I was pretty young (maybe 13ish?) my younger brother (11ish) kept frustrating me by stealing my CD player and I was out for clever revenge. We had a CD recorded by a band from the local church called 'flying sheep' (something something Jesus and flying animals, you know the drill).
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    The first track on the CD was about 45 seconds of sheep noises. When he went to sleep, I snuck into his room quietly located my CD player, set it to loop track one and turned the volume way down. About every 5 minutes I'd sneak in again and turn the volume up a little more. I did this for about 2 hours until there was nothing but bleating sheep at full volume about 4
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    feet from his head. My brother slept like a log so he slept for a whole 7 more hours with sheep noises beamed directly into his brain. He woke up pretty angry. Apparently he had dreamt about trying to herd aggressive sheep all night long. Sweet revenge.
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    n... If someone is really annoying me with what they are saying/chewing loudly/smacking gum loudly/making annoying drum noises with their mouth, I will sometimes turn music on and slowly turn it up to the point where I can't hear them over it. Sometimes I will even look them de d in the eyes while I do it.
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    hrrsnjcb I was on a road trip with my grandparents, and we were sharing a hotel room. My grandfather has a really intense snore, and I couldn't take it anymore. So I leaned forward and clapped as loud as I could and pretended to be asleep. He immediately
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    shot out of bed and walked around the room to investigate, leaving me just enough time to fall asleep before the snoring returned.
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    Oddin85 I was at the Aquarium of the Pacific where they have a cool projection on a sphere. While they were in the middle of their presentation this one lady kept taking pics of the projection with a flash. So in this dark room filled with people, every minute our so, she would
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    take a flash photo. I eventually took a flash photo of her. She glared at me with some evil eyes, but she stopped with the flash photography. My family and I enjoyed the rest of the presentation
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    mugzy Watching my daughter at gymnastics, woman next to me smacking her gum like a cow. I pulled out a pen and sat there clicking the button until she got fed up and left.
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    DumpyLips This last fourth of july some friends and I went down to the pier to watch the fire works. We were sitting down when this couple decided the perfect spot for them was standing directly in front of us. I had been drinking a bit so it seemed like a good idea to bark like a dog. Not like a mean pit bull or something,
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    more like a high pitched chihuahua (I do a really good impression by the way) They kept turning around looking for the dog until they realized it was me. I looked them in the eyes and started barking with an even higher pitch. I think they thought I was crazy because they just whispered to each other and left. The old man sitting next to me gave me a high five.
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    shibbybear Someone at Starbucks ordering for what must have been 10 people and trying to do it from memory and notes they'd taken on their phone. I literally pulled up a chair into the line behind them and sat down with an accompanying annoyed
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    sigh. Really I them off but they then got out of line and went back through after they figured out what they were forgetting.
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    Y... A good family friend of mine is a frequent customer at the local coffee shop. At said local coffee shop there is one handicapped parking. space located out front and several non-delegated spots. The family friend noticed another customer who constantly uses the handicapped spot to go in and order his coffee despite the fact that the manager on
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    staff reminds him to move his car every day because they have several customers who need to use the spot on a daily basis. One day the man pulled in to the spot, went inside (everyone was staring at him), ordered his coffee, proceeded to brush past the manager and walk towards his car. My family friend blocked his path at the door and told the man "You need to stop parking in
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    that spot, we are tired of you treating everyone here like " the man casually told him to mind his own business, my family friend then took the man's cup out of the guy's hands and dropped it on the floor, opened the door for the man and said "Don't ever come back here, you're not welcome here". The man went back to his car, moved his car, called the cops.
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    When the cops came the manager actually pretended that the man had dropped the cup, nobody contested it. The guy hasn't been back. Epic Win. TL;DR Coffee shop bag gets some well deserved karma, the bad kind.
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    therealabefrohman I was sitting in class one day and this girl behind me was being really annoying- smacking her gum, talking, texting (which would have been okay except our desks were touching so every few seconds my desk would buzz).
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    So I started typing things in a really large font. Things like "This girl behind me is really loud" and snippets of her conversations. She noticed and stopped. I actually got the idea from Reddit, so thanks, everybody.
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    cadence555 If someone's to me l cover their seat in water (all over so there are no marks/pools to spot) and watch as the realisation slowly sets in
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    j... I caught an international flight with two friends, it was 24 hours long and the first time I had ever been over seas. Something happened with the ticket allocation and we were split up into two and our friend Charlie was two rows back. I politely asked the lady sitting next to us if she would swap seats with
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    Charlie and explained that we were travelling together and his seat was an aisle seat just like hers. She said "Umm, no." and promptly put her headphones in. Later in the flight she is trying to read and notices that her reading light is out. She asks me if she can turn mine on so that she can read.... seriously?
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    I say, "If you were sitting in Charlie's seat your light would work. Ummmm no, I don't need to read." And I watched her read in the dark for a solid 5 hours.
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    strixus I've posted this before, but I'll post it again, because it really was the most passive aggressive thing I've EVER done. At my first apartment, I had an absolute of an upstairs neighbor. He would be up till three AM playing music really loudly, then wake up at six AM and take a shower. Of course, being
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    an old complex, I could hear his water and the pipes groaning every morning. I gave up complaining to the manager (such a nice old man, but not capable of dealing with conflict) after about two months of it. Now, upstairs had a white pickup that he parked at the end of the units, right outside my bedroom window. He kept all his work
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    gear (he was a house painter and gutter repairman, as best I can tell) in the truck overnight, without any cover over the bed or his gear. So, I invested in a little bird feeder to hang outside my window next to his truck. For the first week I only put seed mix in it. After that, for the rest of the year I lived there,
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    I put a mix of dried blueberries, cranberries, cherries, and unhulled sunflower seeds in the feeder. It was expensive, but it was so worth it to see his white pickup and all of his ladders, gloves, paint trays, rollers, and tools covered in berry birdshit. Yeah. Passive aggressive, yes. Worth it? Oh yes.
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    [deleted] When someone is not passing traffic, and camping in the passing lane, I wait for a spot to pass them. When they're right behind me, I slow down till they switch lanes to pass me, and then resume my previous speed. those people.
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    S... I once had a roommate who would stay up all night playing games/movies/music with his speakers at full blast. Since our rooms were right next to each other and the walls were pretty thin I could hear everything. I had told him many times to lower his volume at night but he just looks at me and says okay and lowers the volume for 5 minutes before turning
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    it back on at full blast again. One day I decided I had enough of this so one night I blasted a Sigur Ros song on repeat the entire night, knowing that he hated the band. At around 4am, his girlfriend came over and asked me to turn down the volume, so I did, for 5 minutes, and then turned it back on at full blast. He dropped out of school shortly after.
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    Nallenbot I was on the verge of starting to loudly slurp my tea as a 'hint' to the guy that sits opposite me. He honestly makes me want to get up and walk off when he comes back with a hot drink. Thanks for making me realise what a that would make me.

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